10 May 2010

Meltdown Free Mother's Day

Me and Tara - Wonder Bar
Originally uploaded by MarciNYC

For the first time in I-don't-know-how-many years, I managed not to have a meltdown on Mother's Day. I've struggled for years with the fact that I have no children and though I have come to accept that I'm never going to have a child to call my own, Mother's Day still hits me hard.

Despite the well wishes of friends who remind me that I'm very good 'doggie mom' - it's not the same. There's a piece of me that's empty - and desperately wants a child of my flesh and blood. But as each year passes and I grow older, the chances of that lessen and I must content myself of being 'mom' to the menagerie of four-legged critters who live under my roof.

That said, yesterday was a lovely day all in all. I haven't been sleeping well for the past two weeks (insomnia sucks!) and despite being awake at 6 AM to let the dogs out, my husband was gracious enough to let me go back to bed and sleep until I was ready to get up. Bliss.

We took the dogs to the reservoir for a walk in the early afternoon. We discovered a new trail that hadn't been open on our last visit there, so we took it. It was a bit longer than expected - so much so that Tara was exhausted by the end and I had to carry her for part of the journey. My 'old lady' is a trooper though - she didn't complain once, though she gave me the look when she needed a break.

The day was capped off by Mark making dinner for me. I'm not a fan of most tomato sauces, but I like the one he makes. It's not special, but it's his and it's DAMN good. Add a little sausage and rigatoni and it's mmm, mmm good.

So, despite only being a 'dog mom' I had a good day - much better than I expected.