31 October 2009

Trick or Treat


Tara - Halloween 2009
Originally uploaded by MarciNYC

It's a been a busy day here.

This morning I ran up north to Tawny's (officially known as Where Victoria's Angels Stitch) for a little stash enhancement. I had seen someone stitching Plum Street Sampler's Paradise Lost on another blog and had to have it. Couldn't believe the price of the chart - $22. Sheesh. But I bought it anyhow. Also picked up Lizzie Kate's ABC Christmas and fabric as well.

Tara and I sat outside and handed out candy to the freeloaders - uh, trick-or-treaters, this afternoon. I am simply amazed at how many kids are 'grabby grabby' and the lack of manners. Mark and I got in a bit of an argument. I insist that the kids say 'trick or treat' - otherwise, I don't give them candy. I also don't like grabbers and will pull the bowl out of reach. He thinks I'm being 'mean and nasty' - I think, my house, my generosity, you play by my rules. Oh my God, I'm becoming the bitchy woman on the block. (Ok, that's not too much of a stretch.)

Chilling out watching Game 3 of the World Series now -- doesn't look too good for Yankees, but it's early still. I gotta believe.

21 October 2009

Lady Sings the Blues

Of late, I feel like my life is crashing down around me or at least that I'm teetering on the edge of an abyss.

---

About 18 months ago, I took a voluntary 'demotion' (plus pay cut) and had my job reclassified as an administrative position. The company was acquired by another last year and about a month ago we learned that our department was being absorbed into the corporate company. My job as it currently exists will cease to be and I will have some of the duties that I had before and felt I was underqualified/untrained to do adequately.

Along with this reclassification, I no longer report to the same person - instead, I am reporting to a colleague based in our UK office. I voiced my concerns to both my old manager and new manager and only hope that I can get the training I need to do what is expected of me. If not, then I'll have to explore other options either within the organization or outside. I like the company (and people) as a whole - I've been there 7+ years. I don't really want to have to find another job as I have a generous vacation allowance now which I wouldn't get anywhere else.

While this change won't happen overnight, I am already a bit nervous. The last thing I want to do is be looking for a new job in this current market.

---

On the home front, I feel as though I've neglected friends and family for too long. Money's tight to say the least and I've cut back on doing a lot things. I miss hanging out with my (sorority) sisters on a regular basis and need to re-involve myself in alumnae chapter happenings.

I argue with my husband way too much too -- and not because I'm simply a bitch, but just because I am frustrated. I know I shouldn't take things out on him, but sometimes I react without thinking. I am working on that, though it's hard to break old ingrained habits.

---

My creative mojo went walkabout earlier this year. I have a room full of craft supplies (more than just beads), but no inspiration. I had hoped summer would cure that but it didn't. Now autumn, my favorite season, is upon us and while I glory in the colors of nature, that mojo still is nowhere to be found.

---


Despite all these stresses, I am lucky to have friends and family who love me and are there for me when I need a little hand-holding (or a martini). Just taking it one day at a time -- and even then, sometimes it's just hour-by-hour for me to be able to hold it together. Things will get better, right? There's always tomorrow.

Baby's Got Blue Eyes


birthday scarf
Originally uploaded by MarciNYC

Today my stitch-n-bitch pals at work showered me with gifts during our lunch gathering. While I appreciated everything, I am in love with this hand-knit scarf.

Blue has been growing on me of late - every shade from ice blue to a rich cobalt. I was amazed at how this scarf made my eyes just pop. You bet that there's gonna be more blue in this gal's wardrobe from this point forward. Of course, red, pink, and black will continue to feature prominently as well.

Now if it would only cool off a bit so I could wear my scarf... Why is it 70 degrees in late October? I want my crisp, cool autumn days.

20 October 2009

Comforting Words

One of my EtsyNJ friends had this quote on her blog a few days ago and I liked it well enough that I appropriated it for myself to post here.

May today there be peace within.
May you use your gifts and pass them on.
May you be content with yourself just the way you are.
Let this knowledge setting into your bones
and allow yourself the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.

As one who constantly beats myself up over doing or saying the wrong thing, I found these words a comfort. For most of my life I've felt I've never been good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, etc.

Yet over the past 18 months or so, along my weight loss journey, I have changed how I think of myself. There are days when I still feel like that insecure ugly duckling. It's those days that words such as these are needed to remind me that I am ok - just the way I am.

18 October 2009

Love Me, Love My Dog


Tara
Originally uploaded by MarciNYC

About a year or so ago, Tara, my 16 year old mini Eskie, was diagnosed with chronic bronchitis - COPD for dogs. It's not a death sentence, but it does make living with a wheezing, hacking dog a bit of a challenge.

This has been managed by meds, but lately the coughing fits have increased both in intensity and frequency. Couple that with recurring bouts of diarrhea, I'm beginning to think about the end. Granted, right now, I don't think that she's suffering badly. It's more inconvenient for me to have to get down on my hands and knees each night and scrub the floor. Just when I think I have her back to normal, it comes back with a vengeance.

I have an appointment with the V-E-T on Friday (for her and Stanley, our last cat from Brooklyn) and hope that we'll be able to find a cause and get her back on track. The thought of having to say good-bye to my velcro dog fills me with tears. I know we won't have forever together, but I don't want to let her go sooner than necessary.

So, for my animal lover friends out there, please keep me and my precious Tara in your prayers. I am hoping this is something simple to cure and that she'll be on the rebound in no time. And if it's something serious, I hope that I'll have the strength to do the right thing.

06 October 2009

Happy Adoption Day, Mac


img 235
Originally uploaded by MarciNYC

One year ago, Mac (aka Scaredy Cat) joined our household.

While he's slowly coming out of his shell, he still prefers the company of cats to the humans in this house. When he's not hiding under the bed, he can usually be found cuddled with Stanley.