31 May 2009

Celebration and Affirmation

If you've been around here long enough, you know that the past year I've worked hard to lose weight. I'm still hovering around the 50 lbs lost total, trying to lose another 15-20 to reach my ultimate goal; however, that's been a battle since my surgery in January.

Today, I went back to WW after being away for two weeks. I hesitated going last week because according the the scale on the ship, I was up several pounds. I didn't want another gain my book, so I held off and worked out diligently this week to ensure that I'd have a loss - hoping for all that I gained, plus some. Whatever I did worked as I was down 2.6 pounds this week - that's just shy of 51 pounds total. Next goal: 55 lbs!

Since starting this weight loss journey, I've become more physically active. I still don't love going to the gym and working out, but I've managed to find activities that interest me and get me there - one of them being yoga. There's a 7:30 AM yoga class each Sunday which I love attending - provided I'm not hurting from the night before. It had been several weeks since I made it out of bed and to the gym in time for this session, but I got there in plenty of time today.

It was the most spectacular session - ever. Not so much for what my body did - I definitely recognized the fact that I hadn't been going regularly for a bit and wasn't as flexible as I had been previously. But, my body responded to most everything and even when I wanted to give up, I was able to push myself a little more and get deeper into the pose.

This particular instructor has (for lack of a better term) 'affirmation cards' that she asks a student to draw one at the end of each session and then she reads it. Yours truly was the lucky one today. The card said (and I'm parapharsing)... "It's never too late to change your body. Diet and exercise will aid you in this journey. Don't let what you eat cause conflict in your life." I was completely relaxed and one with the world after class, but when she read the card I had drawn, it was if a lightning bolt was hurled from the heavens and struck me. If there's anyone who needed that 'reminder' - it was me.

Yesterday, we had lunch at a favorite place - a burger joint. I agreed to go there because they had a grilled chicken wrap that I loved. When we got there, the chicken wrap was no longer on the menu because "not enough people ordered it" and it couldn't be made special. So there I was faced with a choice of burger, burger, or burger. Arrgh! I went with the least harmful option and enjoyed every bite of it, all the while thinking "I sure hope this doesn't screw up my efforts this week." Fortunately, it didn't - I lost, but I still think I might have lost more if I hadn't had that burger.

I've been obsessing with food lately - should I eat this? are there too many carbs in that? is this going to sabotage my efforts?, etc. This affirmation was a message to me that it's okay to let go. Don't let it become a burden to carry. With that in mind, I enjoyed my lunch this afternoon and am ready to face the week ahead.

Nearly 12 hours later, I'm still feeling on top of the world and hoping that this positive train of thought will carry me through the week.

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