FML

I've been 'sick' with one thing or another pretty much since January 2010. I've been in more doctors' offices, more hospitals, more labs than anyone should be this year. I'm tired of it.

In the past two weeks, I've had an endometrial biopsy (follow-up visit next week) after having the never-ending period for several months. The ultrasound discovered I had fibroids - no big deal as it's common in women my age, but the heavy and long periods were a concern. I tried for months to get answers, having to switch GYNs to find one who listened to me and took my concerns seriously. In that respect, I feel like I'm getting answers - albeit slower than I desire.

Secondly, a routine physical with my internist revealed that I have high calcium levels in my blood. Follow-up blood work suggested that I have hyperparathyroidism.
Now the kidney stones, recurring UTIs, and some of the other maladies that have befallen me are starting to make sense. I'm set to see an endocrinologist later today. The cure is a simple surgery - which if that's the case, I'm ready to be knocked out, sliced and diced.

However, I'm really on the verge of losing it. I'm sick of being in doctors' offices, going to labs and having vial after vial of blood drawn. I'm scared. I'm alone. I want someone to just hold me close and tell me everything's gonna be alright.

I'm tired of being sick. I simply want to be well again.

What a Difference

I was looking at pic from the past year - I was really surprised to see such a change between last September and this September.


This time last year, my hair was not much past my chin, burgundy red, and still pretty much in a bob.

This year it's more natural looking red, layer and well past my shoulders. I guess when you don't have your hair cut regularly, it does grow!

Am I thinner? I dunno. Probably about the same (plus/minus a few pounds) weight-wise, but not nearly as toned as I was last year. I need to get back to yoga regularly, not just for the physical benefits, but for the mental benefits too.

Lots of changes happening in my life right now - some for the better, some for the worse, but I am confident I'll weather through. I hope to get back to posting regularly in the near future.

Meltdown Free Mother's Day

Me and Tara - Wonder Bar
Originally uploaded by MarciNYC

For the first time in I-don't-know-how-many years, I managed not to have a meltdown on Mother's Day. I've struggled for years with the fact that I have no children and though I have come to accept that I'm never going to have a child to call my own, Mother's Day still hits me hard.

Despite the well wishes of friends who remind me that I'm very good 'doggie mom' - it's not the same. There's a piece of me that's empty - and desperately wants a child of my flesh and blood. But as each year passes and I grow older, the chances of that lessen and I must content myself of being 'mom' to the menagerie of four-legged critters who live under my roof.

That said, yesterday was a lovely day all in all. I haven't been sleeping well for the past two weeks (insomnia sucks!) and despite being awake at 6 AM to let the dogs out, my husband was gracious enough to let me go back to bed and sleep until I was ready to get up. Bliss.

We took the dogs to the reservoir for a walk in the early afternoon. We discovered a new trail that hadn't been open on our last visit there, so we took it. It was a bit longer than expected - so much so that Tara was exhausted by the end and I had to carry her for part of the journey. My 'old lady' is a trooper though - she didn't complain once, though she gave me the look when she needed a break.

The day was capped off by Mark making dinner for me. I'm not a fan of most tomato sauces, but I like the one he makes. It's not special, but it's his and it's DAMN good. Add a little sausage and rigatoni and it's mmm, mmm good.

So, despite only being a 'dog mom' I had a good day - much better than I expected.

Be A Witch - Shepherd's Bush

Be A Witch - Shepherd's Bush
Originally uploaded by MarciNYC

Chart: Be A Witch
Designer: Shepherd's Bush
Fabric: 10 ct Sand Tula
Threads: Weeks Dye Works, Sampler Threads, Crescent Colours, Anchor

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It may come as no surprise that my favorite holiday is Halloween and thus I have several Halloween themed charts in my stash. There's just something about pumpkins, witches' hats, black cats that I love to stitch.

I started this piece when I had my NYC stitching pals (aka the MetroStitchers) over for an afternoon of fellowship. It's a quick stitch, being done on Tula, even if one does make a few mistakes and have to frog a little. I finished it up last evening, buttons included.

The only change made to the threads is that I used Anchor 403 for the lettering (a witch) in place of Blackbird from Crescent Colours. My LNS was consistently out of this color and I decided it wasn't worth ordering online when a solid black would suffice.

Now it's time to decide what to stitch next -- while continuing to make progress on Love from Turquoise Designs. I'm on the final letter (L) so the end is in sight.

Awesome Day

055
Originally uploaded by MarciNYC

My mom arrived, with her friend, Ron, on Wednesday evening for a visit. Yesterday we drove up to Liberty State Park to take the ferry to Ellis Island and the Statue of Liberty.

Me and my big mouth complained that every time someone comes to visit, if they haven't been here, I have to take them for a visit. Well, I'll never say that again... Yesterday, while we were there, The Boss, Bruce Springsteen, was receiving the Ellis Island Family Heritage Award.

I managed to be less than 10 feet from the man for a bit. Snapped a pic with my cell phone and sent it off to the BFF (the ultimate Springsteen fan) and get a text in reply" What? Where is this? Are you there? OMG! I texted back the specifics to get "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" in reply. Took a lot more pics with my regular camera (which are on Flickr), but since I was off to the side, they're not the best. Still, I was less than 10 feet from an American icon.

After hearing him speak, the crowd dissipated and we bid farewell to Ellis Island and boarded the ferry to the Statue. We didn't get crown tickets (I did that climb once about 20 years - that was enough, TYVM) but we did have tickets giving us permission to climb the pedestal. They said it was 156 steps, but after going 142, the ranger said we had 40 more to go. (What sort of math is that?)

I made it up, but it was an ordeal. I don't like stairs. Particularly when the stairwell narrows so it's a one person width and if you look over the walls/rails, there a big chasm of nothingness - in this case, the innards of the Lady. Coming down was more of a challenge, I went really slow, was on the verge of freaking out, but I held it together. This was the easy part - hard to believe I climbed the narrow spiral staircase to the crown all those years ago. (Once committed, you can't turn around.)

After a brief rainstorm while we were up on the pedestal, the sun came back out. We drove back down to the shore, meeting my husband for dinner at Spike's in Point. Lobster bisque + lobster roll might just equal the most perfect meal. I was so stuffed, as much as I wanted a piece of key lime pie, I couldn't eat another bite. We ended the night strolling along the boardwalk in Point, then I took mom and Ron for a scenic ride home through Spring Lake, Belmar and Avon (along the ocean) before leaving them at the hotel and coming home.

It was a great day - though I was exhausted when I finally got home. Intended to go to bed early - but had to upload the pics. By the time I did get to bed, I was out before my head even hit the pillow.

Meow Pussycat

Kitty Cat Row - Bent Creek
Originally uploaded by MarciNYC

I put the last stitches in Kitty Cat Row tonight. Well, almost the last stitches -- the last stitches I'll do. I need my mom's assistance in doing the French Knots for the mice's eyes/nose/feet. She's coming for a visit next week, so I'll get her to do her bit then.

Now it's back to my LOVE piece...

New 'Do

Self Portrait - 04/07/10
Originally uploaded by MarciNYC

A month or so ago, I had a makeover done at one of the cosmetic counters at Lord & Taylor. As a thank you with my purchase, I was given a free cut/style by a stylist from a nearby salon.

My hair is stick straight (does not hold a curl easily) and thick. If I put it up wet in a ponytail, 14 hours later - still wet at the core. As I'm growing it out, I've been struggling with it, swearing when it seems to have a mind of its own, not doing what I want it to do.

On impulse, I decided to let this stranger do the one thing I've always feared (after a previous botch job some 20 years ago): layer my hair. I talked to her, told here I didn't want them to be obvious but always wanted my hair to be manageable and have a little more movement. Once she was done, I saw the difference immediately. My hair went from heavy and lifeless to free and flowy.

It's been a few weeks and I'm still trying to achieve the exact look she managed (without use of a flat iron which I've never quite mastered). I think today it turned out pretty damn good and I managed to get a decent shot of myself. I'm happy with the cut and now have to make the decision to continue seeing my current stylist (who I adore and have been seeing for several years now) or give the gal who gave me this new look another chance.